Change! To Like or Not to Like? Is What I Ask Myself

Transitionsin life are unavoidable. Even when you do not want things to change it isbeyond your control. There was a time when I would have described myself as someonewho was comfortable with change. Could handle any and all change that came myway with ease. Easily adaptable I would say when asked. Either I really believedthis to be true or I was lying to myself.

It was all fun and games until my sons began to develop into adults. When they began forging their own paths aside from me and my husband. When girlfriends came along, and their opinions held more weight than mine. When I was bumped down to second place because there was a new sheriff in town and her title was wife. Perhaps the hardest change I must face presently is my youngest son relocating six states from home.

I have such duality with how I feel about it. A duality that makes me feel happy and sad at the same time. On one hand, I am proud and excited for his accomplishments and opportunity that has been presented to him. He has worked hard and is now reaping the harvest of his diligent. He has earned his wings to soar in this season of his life. Afterall, it is what his father and I have been training him for since he entered the world. We were grooming him for such a time as this. Right?! But on the other hand, I am sad to see him go. I do not want to let go. I want to selfishly hold onto the time when he never wanted to leave my sight. I want to yell and demand that he not move away! I want to manipulate him into finding a job closer in order to live closer to home. I know that I would be fighting a losing battle. No matter how much I try to bury my head in the sand and pretend to not notice. Or cover my ears and loudly repeat “la la la la la” in order not to hear the conversation it will not stop the presenting change from happening.

In just a short few weeks I will accompany my baby boy to the airport and wave goodbye as he begins the next chapter of his life. I will be happy, sad and even a little scared because I know how hard and cruel the world can be. I know he will be just a scared and nervous as me but will be sure to hide it so not to alarm me. I know he will have more questions than answers in the beginning but hesitant to ask at first in order to not worry me. I am also very aware that he is prepared for this journey. I know he is ready to soar to new heights because I know the God in which he places his trust and faith. The Lord has prepared him for such a time as this. I must now walk in another level of trust and faith in the Lord concerning the son He loaned me 26 years ago.

I am still not sure if I ever was comfortable or even liked change, but I do know whether I like it or not change is going to happen!